I had a mild epiphany tonight. I don't know whether it occurred while watching 4th of July fireworks or on the walk home, but I feel comfortable attributing partial credit to the community and majesty this holiday produces. I call it an epiphany--a moment of sudden revelation--because I came to a conclusion on a topic that I didn't know was plaguing me, but upon reaching a conclusion about said topic I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. And I did it independently of any outside human contribution. Of course someone has written on the content of this post at some time in human history, but I don't think I have read it.
For some time I have been wrestling with an often referenced "truth" in Christian circles. The "truth" goes something like this: "Every day you should be becoming more like Jesus." Or this: "You should look more like Jesus today than you did yesterday." Or this: "The Christian life is a steady progression of sanctification." The trouble I have been having with these statements, and the reason I used quotations around the word truth, is that I do not necessarily see it in my life.
I have been--for some time--feeling like I am bumping against a sanctification ceiling. To sanctify means to be made holy--set apart (more like God). Like I said, I have heard or read many calls to greater sanctification--leaving me feeling like it is my mission to ride the sanctification escalator all the way to heaven. Put another way: each day I should feel more Christ-like than the previous day--sounds great. The trouble is, I haven't felt significantly more Christ-like in a long time. If your expectation is to feel like X each day, and you keep not feeling like X, it gets pretty discouraging. But, like I said, the epiphany tonight helped.
The epiphany is this: ethics--the principles that govern our behavior--fall into 2 categories: 1) sliding scale and 2) either/or. The distinction should be simple.
Either/or ethics are things that you either do or don't do--black and white. I either steal something or I don't. I either lie or I don't. I either commit adultery or I don't. I either murder or I don't. I either lust or I don't. I have been doing fabulous in these areas.
Sliding scale ethics are things you will never perfect on earth. I will never be perfectly wise. I will never be perfectly patient. I will never be perfectly kind. I will never be perfectly loving. I will never be perfectly self-controlled. I hope you get the point. What does perfection in these areas even look like? The answer, of course, is Jesus, but how do I know exactly what Jesus would do in each of my circumstances? These are areas that I have not been feeling a great deal of progress in, which I think is okay, as I will explain later.
I believe the importance of making a distinction here is important. Either/or ethics are under your control. If you tend to lie.... STOP. If you steal....STOP. If you commit adultery....STOP. Especially if you are a Christian. If you are not a Christian I will give you some grace because you do not have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. But if you are a Christian, Scripture informs us that the devil will flee from you if you resist him and God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. So, if you continue falling into these either/or sins....STOP.
But the sliding scale is trickier. Like I said, you will not be perfectly patient this side of heaven. Granted, it is our job to pray and strive for 9/10 on the patienceometer rather than a 4/10, but the patienceometer is never going to be irrelevant--you are always going to have to pray and work to stay at 9/10. And, this is where it gets trickier, I believe the sliding scale ethics require a balance and striking this balance will always be done by feel. Examples may help:
Wisdom and kindness There are plenty of circumstances in which wisdom and kindness need to be balanced. Let's say you are trying to help someone that has fallen on hard times. Purely focusing on kindness may lead you to pampering this person: "You can stay here as long as you want, my house is your house." While purely focusing on wisdom may lead you into treating this person coldly and as a project: "You know this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't done X." Where is the balance between these two virtues? Only prayerful practice will answer the question.
Self-control and love These two may be a better example. If you were to solely focus on self-control, you may become a very dull person: "I know we haven't been on a date for 6 months honey. I have been focusing on work." But only focusing on touchy feely love may just leave you poor and without the means to go on any more dates. There is a time for spontaneous acts of love and there is a time for focused hard work. Where is the balance between these two virtues? Only prayerful practice will answer the question.
Figuring out how to be as loving, patient, peacemaking, wise, and self-controlled as possible at one time is always going to be a juggling act and an art rather than a science. And, we need to make sure we have realistic expectations. I am going to always be battling to stay at a 9/10 in love, joy, thankfulness, and self-control, but God knows that. It is always going to be a balance, and it is also going to seem like my rate of improvement is getting worse.
Think of it this way:
If I started my Christian walk at a 3/10 in wisdom, then the climb from 3/10 to 8/10 may be great, and look like this:
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| coolmath.com |
The Holy Spirit begins to really clear out some junk in your life when you first become a follower of Christ. This is incredibly exciting and the source of many powerful testimonies. But, supposing there is a real ceiling to how wise we can be on this earth, the rate or growth is going to need to slow down between 8/10 and 10/10. Where as, I may have went from a 3/10 to a 4/10 in one month, it may take me a year to go from an 8.3/10 to an 8.4/10. This is what happens when one reaches a carrying capacity, and if there is a real ceiling to our holiness, then our growth will eventually do this:
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| resilience.org |
This could get depressing without the right outlook. If I am hearing continued talk about the eternal march into greater Christ-likeness, without realistic expectations, I may feel like I am doing something wrong when I am doing my best.
This, of course, is all dependent on there being a real limit to our ethics scale--which may be controversial. I would argue, from observation that the limits are real. Why don't any human beings have 100 inch vertical leaps? Because people physiologically top out at about 40 or 45 inches. Why don't any human beings run as fast as cars? Because people physiologically top out at about 25 mph.
"But these are only physical examples", you may say. Fair. But what about mature, knowledgeable Christian leaders that still steal, lie, commit adultery, and lose their temper? Are they just not trying? Maybe they could be trying harder, but we cannot forget that the fleshly nature (desire to sin) is not going away. The Apostle Paul wrote about his fight against the sinful nature late in his life. Despite all my efforts, the tendency to be impatient, unkind, and unloving are not going completely away. God willing, the Holy Spirit will crowd out these fleshly desires, but if I believe they will ultimately go away, I will not be prepared to fight when the temptations come. Despite all my efforts, the tendency to lie, steal, and lust are not going completely away. It is my job to say no to all the either/or sins and try to get as close (with the Holy Spirit's help) to a 10/10--Jesus' score--on every sliding scale virtue as I can. To the either/or sins we must say NO, and to the sliding scale sins we must strive to move toward 10s and away from 0s.
With this epiphany, I can now be much more at ease with the continual "march towards Christ-likeness" references that I hear. It was not the preacher's fault, the audience (me) did not have as full of an understanding of this phrase as he does now. Now that I have greater clarity, I can set my sights on this scorecard:
# of either/or sins committed in the past year: 0
Patience: 9.9/10
Kindness: 9.9/10
Forgiveness: 9.9/10
Wisdom: 9.9/10
Peacemaking: 9.9/10
Love: 9.9/10
Stewardship: 9.9/10
Compassion: 9.9/10
Thankfulness: 9.9/10
Joyfulness: 9.9/10
Jesus' scorecard read: 0; 10; 10; 10; 10; 10; 10; 10; 10; 10; 10, but I am not God incarnate, so I will settle for 9.9s. With the Holy Spirit's help, this is something I can strive for.
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