If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.
Luke 6:32
If you asked 100 people if love is a good thing I am supposing you would get 100 people answering in the affirmative. I may be a little too rosy in my outlook, but most people would define love as a good thing. However, if you asked the same 100 people if everyone acts in a loving way, you would most likely get 100 people answering in the negative. Why the disconnect?
First, I would argue that we have a fleshly nature that will not be overcome in this world. This simply means that we will continue to have a desire to sin, which is always unloving, on this earth, regardless of our best efforts. I do believe we can be sanctified--become more like Christ and experience a decrease in our fleshly wants--but the desire to lust, lie, and steal are not fully going away while we inhabit the earth as we know it.
Second, I would argue that we have different definitions of love. This is something I can get rather worked up about, even though it is primarily semantics. It irritates me that people can love their favorite sports team, television show, and food. I understand that when people say they love the Atlanta Braves that they just mean they really like them, but I believe using the word like this seeps into our conscience when we come across the word love in the Bible.
The Bible primarily talks about love in two ways: loving God and loving others. Figuring out how to love God, in my opinion, is the trickier of these two and will not be directly addressed in this post--however, I would contend that loving others is a big component of loving God. Jesus explained that loving others is the second greatest commandment and is much like loving God. Jesus also said, "If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love....My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." Loving others was/is important to Jesus. The question is: what does this mean? What does it mean to love others? What exactly does that look like? This is possibly the greatest question of Christian ethics.
This love is definitely going to look different in different circumstances and with different people. The most loving thing for me to do in an instance may not be the most loving thing for you to do in the same circumstance. Love is certainly something that requires discernment and wisdom to put into practice. It is not always going to look the same, but I do believe we should start from a similar definition. I do not want to oversimplify love as philosophers have been kicking this around for millennia without a consensus, but I do want to offer what I believe to be a logical and Biblical definition.
Christians often reference C.S. Lewis' "The Four Loves" when diving into this topic. I will not address storge (affection), philia (friendship), or eros (romance), but will rather focus on agape (unconditional love), because this is the virtue I believe Jesus commanded us to have, and it is this type of love that transcends selfishness. The most selfish person desires friendship and romance, and possibly affection, but it is only the virtuous that seeks loving everyone, at all times, regardless of race, social class, or past behavior. This is one component of the Biblical love: it is unconditional--it never gives up. But what does it never give up on?
Many are familiar with the "love chapter"--1 Corinthians 13. This chapter emphasizes the unconditionality of love and some of its characteristics--patience, kindness, selflessness. A good exercise is to plug your name in for the word love in verses 4-6 and see how is sounds: "Bo is patient, Bo is kind. Bo does not envy...." If that exercise doesn't go so well then you have some things to pray about and practice. But I want to leave you with a short definition, not an entire chapter. A chapter you can study, but a short definition you can repeat to yourself during the day.
The definition is this: unconditionally wanting the best for everyone. Do you always want the best for everyone? Regardless of who they are or what they may have done to you, do you want the best for them? What does the best mean? Admittedly, defining "the best" requires some thinking as well. I would define "the best" as the person growing into the person God wants them to be. Once again, this is complicated, but I believe some simple things are in view--having shelter, having clothes, having food, having water, being educated, knowing and loving God. Hopefully most people desire at least the first 5 for the people close to them. But for a lot of people, this is where it stops--with those close to them. The Biblical definition does not stop there.
This love is unique. There are 3 components to it: intention, unconditionality, and universality. Each of the 3 components is more difficult than we may think.
Intention is wanting the best for someone. Even if we demonstrate affection, is it not always because we want what is best for that person, but because we want their affection, approval, and camaraderie in return. Now, affection, approval, and camaraderie are all things we need--we need them from God and could use them from other people. But do we continue to act in a loving way when affection, approval, and camaraderie are not a return on our investment? It is reasonable to conclude broken friendships and familial relationships are often the result of one or both people not truly wanting the best for the other. What appeared to be a friendship or marriage, was primarily a way for one to get his needs filled by the other. Do you want your friends and family to succeed and are invested in how you can make that a reality, or are you primarily concerned with what you can receive from the relationship?
This intention bleeds into unconditionality. If I truly want what is best for you, then my love should be unconditional. If I am free from concern about what I receive back from you in a relationship, I am free to love you. Most people can at least demonstrate indications of love for a time: if you are kind to me, I can be kind back. But what about when you are unkind to me? What about when you are jealous of me? What about when you are unforgiving of me? What about when you betray me? Biblical love appreciates reciprocity, but is not dependent on it. Unconditional love is difficult.
Harder yet may be universality. Some people want the best for their family, or their friends, or their fellow countrymen, but fewer want the best for people they have never met, or people that have different opinions or competing interests. Wanting the best for someone I have never met causes me to detest slavery, genocide, and sex trafficking. Universality leads to social action, should lead away from needless war, and should ultimately create a loving, civilized world. Yes, governments are going to need to continue promoting justice as the world continues to be fallen, but do members of the government desire the best for foreigners as they desire it for their fellow countrymen? A husband's responsibility is to his family, and a government's responsibility is its citizens, but the husband must not desire his family to succeed at the expense of someone else's, and a government should not desire its citizens to succeed at the expense of another's. This may all sound very idealistic, and, as said before, is going to take discernment to carry forth, but the intention is simple: wanting the best for all people all the time. Intentional. Universal. Unconditional. This is the love that, "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
There is a balance to all of this. The intention is a struggle and the unconditionality is a struggle, while the universality calls for a balance. Some get carried away with those across the globe to the exclusion of those closest to them, while others justify mistreating strangers in the name of taking care of those closest to them. The man who has welcomed the Holy Spirit's leading, has properly defined love, and has practiced this love is the man that loves his wife and the child in Africa. The mafia man can justify his extortion of strangers with the serving of his family, while the serial activist can justify his impatience with his friends and family with the village wells he is digging. The Christ-like man loves the child in Africa and is patient and kind with his family. This is the true definition of love, an unconditional care for the well-being of those closest to us and those furthest away. The fleshly nature will not go away, but we can ask for the Spirit's guidance and strength to carry this out to the best of our ability. It is going to take effort, but it is one of our greatest callings.
Luke 6:32
If you asked 100 people if love is a good thing I am supposing you would get 100 people answering in the affirmative. I may be a little too rosy in my outlook, but most people would define love as a good thing. However, if you asked the same 100 people if everyone acts in a loving way, you would most likely get 100 people answering in the negative. Why the disconnect?
First, I would argue that we have a fleshly nature that will not be overcome in this world. This simply means that we will continue to have a desire to sin, which is always unloving, on this earth, regardless of our best efforts. I do believe we can be sanctified--become more like Christ and experience a decrease in our fleshly wants--but the desire to lust, lie, and steal are not fully going away while we inhabit the earth as we know it.
Second, I would argue that we have different definitions of love. This is something I can get rather worked up about, even though it is primarily semantics. It irritates me that people can love their favorite sports team, television show, and food. I understand that when people say they love the Atlanta Braves that they just mean they really like them, but I believe using the word like this seeps into our conscience when we come across the word love in the Bible.
The Bible primarily talks about love in two ways: loving God and loving others. Figuring out how to love God, in my opinion, is the trickier of these two and will not be directly addressed in this post--however, I would contend that loving others is a big component of loving God. Jesus explained that loving others is the second greatest commandment and is much like loving God. Jesus also said, "If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love....My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." Loving others was/is important to Jesus. The question is: what does this mean? What does it mean to love others? What exactly does that look like? This is possibly the greatest question of Christian ethics.
This love is definitely going to look different in different circumstances and with different people. The most loving thing for me to do in an instance may not be the most loving thing for you to do in the same circumstance. Love is certainly something that requires discernment and wisdom to put into practice. It is not always going to look the same, but I do believe we should start from a similar definition. I do not want to oversimplify love as philosophers have been kicking this around for millennia without a consensus, but I do want to offer what I believe to be a logical and Biblical definition.
Christians often reference C.S. Lewis' "The Four Loves" when diving into this topic. I will not address storge (affection), philia (friendship), or eros (romance), but will rather focus on agape (unconditional love), because this is the virtue I believe Jesus commanded us to have, and it is this type of love that transcends selfishness. The most selfish person desires friendship and romance, and possibly affection, but it is only the virtuous that seeks loving everyone, at all times, regardless of race, social class, or past behavior. This is one component of the Biblical love: it is unconditional--it never gives up. But what does it never give up on?
Many are familiar with the "love chapter"--1 Corinthians 13. This chapter emphasizes the unconditionality of love and some of its characteristics--patience, kindness, selflessness. A good exercise is to plug your name in for the word love in verses 4-6 and see how is sounds: "Bo is patient, Bo is kind. Bo does not envy...." If that exercise doesn't go so well then you have some things to pray about and practice. But I want to leave you with a short definition, not an entire chapter. A chapter you can study, but a short definition you can repeat to yourself during the day.
The definition is this: unconditionally wanting the best for everyone. Do you always want the best for everyone? Regardless of who they are or what they may have done to you, do you want the best for them? What does the best mean? Admittedly, defining "the best" requires some thinking as well. I would define "the best" as the person growing into the person God wants them to be. Once again, this is complicated, but I believe some simple things are in view--having shelter, having clothes, having food, having water, being educated, knowing and loving God. Hopefully most people desire at least the first 5 for the people close to them. But for a lot of people, this is where it stops--with those close to them. The Biblical definition does not stop there.
This love is unique. There are 3 components to it: intention, unconditionality, and universality. Each of the 3 components is more difficult than we may think.
Intention is wanting the best for someone. Even if we demonstrate affection, is it not always because we want what is best for that person, but because we want their affection, approval, and camaraderie in return. Now, affection, approval, and camaraderie are all things we need--we need them from God and could use them from other people. But do we continue to act in a loving way when affection, approval, and camaraderie are not a return on our investment? It is reasonable to conclude broken friendships and familial relationships are often the result of one or both people not truly wanting the best for the other. What appeared to be a friendship or marriage, was primarily a way for one to get his needs filled by the other. Do you want your friends and family to succeed and are invested in how you can make that a reality, or are you primarily concerned with what you can receive from the relationship?
This intention bleeds into unconditionality. If I truly want what is best for you, then my love should be unconditional. If I am free from concern about what I receive back from you in a relationship, I am free to love you. Most people can at least demonstrate indications of love for a time: if you are kind to me, I can be kind back. But what about when you are unkind to me? What about when you are jealous of me? What about when you are unforgiving of me? What about when you betray me? Biblical love appreciates reciprocity, but is not dependent on it. Unconditional love is difficult.
Harder yet may be universality. Some people want the best for their family, or their friends, or their fellow countrymen, but fewer want the best for people they have never met, or people that have different opinions or competing interests. Wanting the best for someone I have never met causes me to detest slavery, genocide, and sex trafficking. Universality leads to social action, should lead away from needless war, and should ultimately create a loving, civilized world. Yes, governments are going to need to continue promoting justice as the world continues to be fallen, but do members of the government desire the best for foreigners as they desire it for their fellow countrymen? A husband's responsibility is to his family, and a government's responsibility is its citizens, but the husband must not desire his family to succeed at the expense of someone else's, and a government should not desire its citizens to succeed at the expense of another's. This may all sound very idealistic, and, as said before, is going to take discernment to carry forth, but the intention is simple: wanting the best for all people all the time. Intentional. Universal. Unconditional. This is the love that, "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
There is a balance to all of this. The intention is a struggle and the unconditionality is a struggle, while the universality calls for a balance. Some get carried away with those across the globe to the exclusion of those closest to them, while others justify mistreating strangers in the name of taking care of those closest to them. The man who has welcomed the Holy Spirit's leading, has properly defined love, and has practiced this love is the man that loves his wife and the child in Africa. The mafia man can justify his extortion of strangers with the serving of his family, while the serial activist can justify his impatience with his friends and family with the village wells he is digging. The Christ-like man loves the child in Africa and is patient and kind with his family. This is the true definition of love, an unconditional care for the well-being of those closest to us and those furthest away. The fleshly nature will not go away, but we can ask for the Spirit's guidance and strength to carry this out to the best of our ability. It is going to take effort, but it is one of our greatest callings.
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